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You Covered My Clam

by The Tex Pistols

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1.
Average Guy 03:33
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I'm an Average Guy © 1994 Mark Nelson I'm an average guy, and I'm getting by But I take Tylenol, instead of gettin' high I used to party and have chicks galore and I could eat anything in the grocery store But I don't have time to do that no more Yuppie I O Kai Yay Yes I once was wild, but now I'm mild From trying to toilet-train, my inner child I followed my bliss down a one way street I read the auras of everyone I meet And I'm fanatical about the foods I eat Yippie I O Kai Yay Well my guru said, to clean out my head So I hit the road, with the Grateful Dead I spent all my money on tie dye shirts As I cruise around in a van from Hertz And I measure my drugs in megahertz Hippie I O Kai Yay I'm a New Age guy and I had to try Every passing fad, that came across my eye I've read Iron John, and Merlin Stone Got a crystal and a black cat bone I’ve got real estate in the old ozone Yippie I O Oy Vey
2.
Roly Poly 03:19
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Roly Poly, eatin' corn and taters Hungry every minute of the day Roly Poly, gnawin' on a biscuit Long as he can chew it it's OK He can eat an apple pie and never even bat an eye He likes everything from soup to hay Roly Poly, daddy's little fatty Bet he's gonna be a man some day Roly Poly, scrambled eggs for breakfast Toast and jelly twenty times a day Roly Poly, eats a hearty dinner Cuz it takes lots of strength to run and play Pulls up weeds and he does his chores And he runs both ways through all the doors He works up an appetite that way Roly Poly, daddy's little fatty Bet he's gonna be a man some day
3.
Honey Is It Safe? 05:01
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Honey Is It Safe? © 1994 Mark Nelson Well I just came in here because there's nothing on TV, And I keep staring at my finger, where her ring used to be. I could not believe my luck, when you sat down and said "hello," And now it's getting late, and there's just one thing I must know. Chorus: Honey is it safe to go home with you tonight? I wonder, should we make love, or should we say goodnight? Now I'm not afraid of loving you, but I'm afraid of what that love might do Honey is it safe to go home with you tonight? Now you might be a fugitive from some Arab mob , Or a corporate attorney working on a blackmail job; A heavy-metal Satanist trying to pull a voodoo hex, Hell, after all I've seen on Oprah, I don't even know your sex. Well I hope you don't mind, if I act a little shy, But the rules just keep on changing no matter how hard I try. I'll admit that I am flattered by what you'd like to do with me. So won’t you please fill out this questionnaire about your sexual history?
4.
Monkey Hips and Rice 02:49
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Geneva called me on the telephone this mornin’ She told me that she had something good to give me I could hardly wait to get to my Geneva And if I told you what she had for dinner, would you believe me? Chorus It was monkey hips and rice Monkey hips and rice Monkey hips and rice Monkey hips and rice Ooh wee I didn’t wanna believe it Monkey hips and rice I said mm-mm-mm, this is good. I’d eat some more if I could. I didn’t know what it was that I was eatin’ but the knife and fork, they really took a beatin’. (Repeat Chorus) When Geneva told me what we had ate for dinner. Man I left my chair and I beat it out of town* But Geneva, darlin’, don’t you know that I still love you But when it’s time to eat I just won’t be around (Repeat Chorus)
5.
Well You Needn't 02:11
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6.
Rugged Rubber Lover 03:31
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Rugged Rubber Lover ©1994 Mark Nelson Well, I answered an ad in the classifieds that said is your love life shot? The package came; I don't know what it is but I sure know what it's not. So I took it out, and I plugged it in, and I filled it up with air. She's my five foot two - and I made her with glue - electric love affair Rugged Rubber Lover---Rugged Rubber Lover Now every night I got a date with my silicon beauty queen when we go to a dance we know all the steps, we fit in any kind of scene She's sophisticated, suave, and always in style, the perfect executive wife And I can play with my toys like all the rest of the boys knowin' I got it made for life Rugged Rubber Lover---Rugged Rubber Lover One night she said "Boy, I've had it here with your Barbie Doll Playboy jive And I've got better things to do than to wait for you to treat me like I am alive. So so long, au revoire, see ya later, sayonara, crying won't make me stay-- If you'll step aside, I'd like to catch my ride...I got a better offer any way" Rugged Rubber Lover---Rugged Rubber Lover And that was the end of my inflatable friend I could chase her but I don't wanna Last I heard she's doing well--singing backup for Madonna
7.
I'm a Guy 04:27
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I'm a Guy © 1994 Mark Nelson Gypsy woman told my mama on my birthin’ day, "You got a boy child comin’ gonna be a CPA" Well, I was born for success got a plastic spoon in my mouth. Come on all you people, let me tell you what it's all about. CH: I'm a guy I spell G--U--Y Guy I can go to work from nine to five. I make enough money to keep nine or ten people alive. I can go to the club I play about eighteen holes, Impress the caddie with my self-control. Bridge: I can walk that walk with my cheeks pulled tight, Walk in a bar and avoid a fight Look in the paper and predict the rain There's fifty million of us and were all about the same Yes, I am a guy….
8.
Pardon Me 03:55
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9.
Bayou Dinner 03:30
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Bayou Dinner © 1994 Mark Nelson All across the country when it’s time to eat, All the people want a Cajun treat. You can read all about on the printed page They say the Bayou cooking is the latest craze Chorus: I wanna Bayou dinner, down in old Louisian’ Go to the fais do do in my old pirou, come on and take my hand. I wanna Bayou dinner, something spicy tonight, I want a jambalaya and a pecan pie, I wanna Bayou dinner tonight. Well let’s go down to New Orleans Cause you’re the sweetest Dixie chicken that I’ve ever seen. Is it Tabasco on your lips that makes your kisses so hot? I love the way that you stir your pot. You got the blackened fish with the sauce so red, You got the old crawfish and you suck the head. You got the file gumbo alligator stew, You got the Cajun waiter asking, “How’s by you?"
10.
Living in the Trees 04:10
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about

"The Tex Pistols" existed for one reason: to have as much fun as it was humanly possible on stage. It was the early '90s and we were all busy: Tom and Marty were playing in numerous local jazz and rock bands, Paul had a thriving solo career (when he wasn't hanging out in Mexico), Frank spent most nights playing country bars, and I was playing with Southern Light.

From the start our method was simple: anyone could bring any song to the band at any time and we'd play it. Often we would play a song for the first time while we were on a gig! Unlike the highly rehearsed groups we all played in, the Pistols improvised everything.

We'd do crazy stuff with standards; like playing "Blue Monk" as a polka or turning the Star Trek theme into a samba. With an ace like Frank on the steel, you can bet we played a lot of Western Swing, too. Paul and I were both writing like crazy.

In '94 Frank purchased a brace of then revolutionary ADAT digital recorders and the Tex Pistols were tapped to test them out. We chose ten songs - everything from Bob Wills and Monk to originals - playing everything live with minimal overdubs.

There was no intention of ever releasing the album, although Frank did print up a number of cassettes to hand out to our friends. The title comes from something Marty said to me when we were listening to playback; apparently I'd managed to hide some mistake he'd made. Clams are us

Sadly Marty died in 1996 and we did not have the heart to keep the group going.

Thanks, Marty, for one of the most enjoyable musical experiences imaginable.

credits

released November 2, 2015

Marty Ruddy: Bass
Tom Freeman: Drums & Vocal Noise
Paul Jenny: Trumpet, Guitar & Vocals
Frank Sullivan: Pedal Steel, Dobro & Banjo
Mark Nelson: Guitars & Vocals
with Emy Phelps: Vocals

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Mark Nelson Ashland, Oregon

I'm a multi-instrumentalist & author with a solo recording career going back to 1979.

Here are some samples of music I've written, recorded or performed over the years.

Happy listening!

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